Pretty much all of us at some point in our lives have been in a situation or environment where we’ve felt confident, empowered and like we’re just ‘in the zone’. Why is it then that so many people are not able to feel this way in much more situations? The answer lies in what is known as ‘the comfort zone’.
Some people are confident at work but not socially, others socially but not at home, some at home but not at work, etc etc. It can also be more specific than this – maybe you’re confident around certain people, in particular locations, wearing a specific outfit, talking about your favoured topic, etc etc.
As you can see from the above image, people’s “zones” will vary and will also differ given a particular set of circumstances. Longer term we want to work our way towards having a large comfort zone, in many different areas, which is is achieved by gradually spending more an more time in your “learning” or “stretch” zone. This takes dedication and continuous action, which as you all know I am a big advocate of! HOWEVER….
…there is an amazing method we can use to help us in the short term… a technique called “anchoring” which enables us to access the benefits of a time WHEN YOU HAVE FELT CONFIDENT BEFORE. Studies have shown that there are physiological changes that occur within us when we are able to focus on positive, empowering memories.
So, I’d like to ask you to do the following:
- Think back to a time where you have felt amazing! Where you were confident, energised, empowered, passionate, focused. Basically a time when you were operating at the level you desire (or as close to it as possible).
- Close your eyes and visualise being back in that situation. Get REALLY clear on it. What do you see? What do you hear? How do you feel? How is your body positioned? What are your facial expressions? What are you saying? What are people saying to you?
- Write down all of your answers to these questions…read them back and imagine being in that situation regularly (this is important).
- Next time you’re in need of a confidence boost, because you have focused on the past positive experience many times, you will have easy access to those memories and thus the confident feelings evoked from them, at the time you need.
You can repeat this as many times as you want so you have more examples to draw upon in the future. I’d highly recommend building out a bank of various scenarios that you can always refer back to.
I want to make you aware of this very important point – nobody is born confident or unconfident. We are the outcome of all our conditioning and experiences in life to date. THIS IS A GREAT THING as it means that you can always LEARN to grow and build your confidence and self-esteem.
Next week I will share part 2 of this confidence boosting series of articles, which is equally as, if not more powerful, that today’s content. Have a great week!