There can be a multitude of reasons as to why a person’s self confidence is low, and will vary from person to person as to whether it is a long or short term experience. Here’s a few of the key factors…
- Our environment at school. (how teachers and other kids treated us)
- Our home environment whilst growing up (how our parents and other family treated us).
- Our work environment (interaction with bosses, colleagues, clients)
- Our social environment (interaction with friends, acquaintances, random encounters).
- Our intimate environment (dealings with significant others, dating experiences, sex life).
- Our home environment as adults.
- Impactful events (such as losing a job, a bereavement, breakups/divorce, financial worries/debt/loss of a home, etc).
As humans are so all wonderfully unique, each person’s resilience, and therefore their susceptibility to being heavily impact by the various above factors will of course vary.
Now obviously some of these experiences will have been impacting us for a very long time, whereas others a relatively short amount of time. However they can all play a big part!
THE KEY thing to remember is that NO AMOUNT of mental conditioning, is permanent…take a moment to let that sink in and think about what this means!
The bottom line is that regardless of whether your lack of confidence (or dip in confidence) stems from older or newer experiences, it can be undone and fixed. Try to view a lack of confidence as a habit that has been learned. Any habit that has been learnt (positive or negative) can be unlearned…and subsequently the ones that do not serve you, can be replaced with something else much more empowering.
Scientists believe that a new habit takes around 4 weeks to form. So if you’re up for it, I’m going to set you a “28 Day Challenge”.
1) Grab a piece of paper and split it into 5 columns. At the top of each one, write the following 5 headings: Physical, Intellectual, Social/Personality, Unique/Other, How Your Friends Would Describe You.
2) Now write 5 POSITIVE things under each of the headings relating to you.
3) Read this at least once per day for 28 days.
4) Once you’ve achieved the above, stretch yourself to write down 100 positive things in total and repeat.
Notice how your feelings shift as the days go by. Does you negative self-talk feel lower/more subdued (or perhaps gone altogether)? Do you feel more positive? Have greater belief? Feel that you deserve good things? If so (and you will), then it’s working.
If you would like more information on this topic, or any other I’ve covered, I’d love to hear from you.
Have a great day & bye for now!